8 Empowering Things to Say to Your Child

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A small change in the way we speak to children can make a big difference.

8 Empowering Things to Say to Your Child

8 Empowering Things to Say to Your Child

A small change in the way we speak to children can make a big difference.

We sometimes unintentially hurl hurtful remarks at others without realizing that they have the potential to hurt feelings. It is especially important to consider the impact of our words on young children who are still developing.


You can't draw on the wall, but feel free to have fun on this drawing board

Instead of “Oh, why did you...”

"Oh, why did you..." is a commonly used phrase by parents when their child has done something wrong. And who can blame them? Kids can be exasperating sometimes. But the phrase is accusing, which not only leaves your child with a negative s elf-image but is also counter-effective in c orrecting your child's behavior.

It is more effective to demonstrate (or model!) the correct behavior. For example, if your child starts drawing and coloring on the walls, you can designate a drawing surface for them by preparing a drawing board or an easel. Let them know that These include the appropriate surfaces to express creativity. And include them in the cleanup process, this will help them understand why the rules exist in the first place.


Mummy and Daddy promised to bring you to the zoo and we will fulfill our promise

Instead of "If you..., we will..."

Parents are accustomed to using the performance-reward system and often plan family activities according to their children's behavior. But parents have busy lives, and sometimes exposure events or outings have to be cancelled, which leads to the child contributions faith in their parents' promises And maybe acting out.

The best solution to this is to commit fully and fulfill your promises. But when circumstances require that plans be changed, make sure to explain the plans clearly and work together with your child to reschedule or come up with a compromise.


Thank you for being so kind to help. Could you help mummy clean the table instead?

Instead of "Don't make a mess here,

Go and play on your own”

While parents are doing household chores, children often express interest in participating and helping out. While they have good intentions, their participation can sometimes be counterproductive. Parents who are annoyed may tell their children to not mess with them and to play on their own. This could seriously dampen the child's enthusiasm and spirit of exploration.

Encourage your child to participate in chores by assigning something manageable for them such that they will feel a sense of achievement and at the same time lighten your workload. Small jobs lead to more and more responsibility and contribute to a healthy work ethic.


You can do it; Mummy and Daddy are beside you

Instead of "You don't know how to do this, let me do it"

Parents often become anxious seeing their child stumble and fail at a task. For instance, when the child attempts to lay the utensils for dinner, the mother, out of fear that her child will break a bowl, might interce and do the work instead. By doing so, the child's initiative and desire could be weakened and they may even learn a sense of helplessness.

Allow your child to grow up in a space of exploration. Parents have the duty to manage the risks that their children are exposed to, but giving children the opportunity to safely fail teaches them valuable lessons about resiliency and determination.


Take your time, I have faith in you.

Instead of "Why is that other children are able to do it

And you can't?"

The parents becomes spur their child to become better, it often backfires and results in damaged self-esteem. The child becomes consciously inferior to others and develops low self-confidence, starting with the perception that their parents will not Love them unless they achieve.

Every child has their own growth curve and unique strengths and weaknesses. In the initial developmental years, some children learn faster than others. However, this does not determine their ability to achieve in life. They simply need time, encouragement, and confidence to reach Their potential.


It is okay to cry, but could you tell Mummy and Daddy how you are feeling?

Instead of "You are a boy, you shouldn't cry"

We expect boys to be masculine and brave, and sometimes parents reprimand them for crying because of their gender. In fact, every child and adult, regardless of gender, should be allowed to honor their feelings and emotions. Feelings which are not allowed to surface Will find their own way to come out sooner or later, sometimes with destructive effects.

The solution is to encourage your child to regularly express their emotions by modeling the healthy expression of emotion. Remind them that it is ok to cry and that the feeling will pass with time.


Mummy and Daddy are busy now, but we promise to make time for you later

Instead of "I heard you, stop calling me"

When parents are busy and feeling vexed, it is easy for them to transfer their frustration and anger to their child (remember what we said about repressed emotions, they will come out somehow). During such times and especially when they find that their child's requests Trivial, they often brush the child off by saying "I heard you, stop calling me".

To avoid this problem, you can reduce your pace and lower your volume while telling your child that mummy and daddy are busy now and that you will listen to them later, perhaps during a designated time to meet as a family, like over dinner or in The evening before bed.


You can be anything you want to be

Instead of "Are you behaving like a proper boy/girl?"

When boys appear meek and girls come across as loud and outgoing, parents may comment that they are not behaving in the way expected of their gender.

When your child explores their interests in a safe and responsible way, do not disapprove and limit their abilities. An artistic boy may become a renowned artist and a girl who loves to play outside may become an outstanding athlete. Support your child's chosen interests and passions , even if they seem unorthodox.

Written by UniNi Children's University.

At UniNi Tianjin, we believe character building is fundamental to the success of an individual. We place the seven elements of character development at the heart of our curriculum: Passion, Gratitude, Optimism, Social awareness, Curiosity, Self-control, and Determination.

Find out more by scanning the above WeChat QR code

Editor and page design by Andy from TianjinExpats

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By the way, Happy 2019!

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